I have a lot going on in my head. I've been trying really hard to pray about it, but I am so confused about what to ask that prayer is a challenge all by itself.
Does it say anything about the state of my mind that I am choosing to clean house and do laundry as escape mechanisms? Should this concern me?
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Prayer
Just a quick note asking for prayer for my sister, Judy, and her kids...Taylor, Braden, Spencer, Sophia, and Parker. Many of you know that they lost Brent, husband & Dad, unexpectedly in November of 2006. Yesterday would have been Judy & Brent's 20th wedding anniversary. I talked to Judy, who was really trying hard to hold it together, but I could hear the sadness in her voice.
I am so thankful she is willing to share the sadness somewhat now, that she trusts her family & friends enough to say she isn't happy all the time. I also pray in thanksgiving that she sees the joys in life and not just the sorrows. She said, "I could have sat around being depressed all day. Then I remembered I have five healthy kids and life is still pretty good." Big steps.
Pray for Judy & her kids, even just a brief moment, to honor this passage of time that probably helps and hurts at the same time. Then, please, take time to pray for your friends & family who have lost someone near and dear, and remember that loss, and honor that love.
I am so thankful she is willing to share the sadness somewhat now, that she trusts her family & friends enough to say she isn't happy all the time. I also pray in thanksgiving that she sees the joys in life and not just the sorrows. She said, "I could have sat around being depressed all day. Then I remembered I have five healthy kids and life is still pretty good." Big steps.
Pray for Judy & her kids, even just a brief moment, to honor this passage of time that probably helps and hurts at the same time. Then, please, take time to pray for your friends & family who have lost someone near and dear, and remember that loss, and honor that love.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Flawed
We all have our flaws--most of us have more than we'd like to admit. One friend in particular (you know who you are) seems to have periods where her flaws are all she sees. Whether it is a job you don't get, a love that is unrequited, or a life you are just not content with, life is full of disappointments.
My one friend has hit the point where all she can see is what she does not have. Simply put, she is unhappy, broken. I should say here that I love this friend. She is an amazing human being. She is my sister in Christ. She is one I can laugh with, cry with, and speak sternly to when she cannot see her own worth.
I try to remember that we are only on this earth for a short period of time. I also try to remember that this is not where we are meant to feel at home. If we feel at home here, then the GLORY promised to us in the next world seems insignificant. We are in this world, but, PRAISE GOD, not of this world.
I pray often that I would be able to see outside of myself. Each Sunday at church, we have a time set aside to confess our sins. As I sit there every Sunday, I cannot believe that I am confessing the same sin yet again....Lord, forgive me for being so self-centered, so stuck on who I am and what I have (or don't have) that I cannot see the glorious promises you have for me for more than a fleeting second.
I pray this now for my friend...that she can see beyond the current state of discomfort and discontent to know--KNOW--that she is loved and valued beyond all imagining. I confessed to her last week that I cannot imagine a man who is willing to see beyond my flaws and love me, that I don't think that I am worth that. She wondered how I could think that considering God designed me, created me, put me on earth, loved me, and shaped me into who I am now...how could anyone else's love compare to that?
I ask all of you the same question...how dare we convince ourselves that we are our flaws? Does God make mistakes, or does He simply put us into situations in which we are forced to our knees to rely on Him?
My one friend has hit the point where all she can see is what she does not have. Simply put, she is unhappy, broken. I should say here that I love this friend. She is an amazing human being. She is my sister in Christ. She is one I can laugh with, cry with, and speak sternly to when she cannot see her own worth.
I try to remember that we are only on this earth for a short period of time. I also try to remember that this is not where we are meant to feel at home. If we feel at home here, then the GLORY promised to us in the next world seems insignificant. We are in this world, but, PRAISE GOD, not of this world.
I pray often that I would be able to see outside of myself. Each Sunday at church, we have a time set aside to confess our sins. As I sit there every Sunday, I cannot believe that I am confessing the same sin yet again....Lord, forgive me for being so self-centered, so stuck on who I am and what I have (or don't have) that I cannot see the glorious promises you have for me for more than a fleeting second.
I pray this now for my friend...that she can see beyond the current state of discomfort and discontent to know--KNOW--that she is loved and valued beyond all imagining. I confessed to her last week that I cannot imagine a man who is willing to see beyond my flaws and love me, that I don't think that I am worth that. She wondered how I could think that considering God designed me, created me, put me on earth, loved me, and shaped me into who I am now...how could anyone else's love compare to that?
I ask all of you the same question...how dare we convince ourselves that we are our flaws? Does God make mistakes, or does He simply put us into situations in which we are forced to our knees to rely on Him?
Monday, June 9, 2008
Coveting
In the Bible, there are lots of references to things 'you shall not covet.' Today, I am coveting your prayers, and I am fairly confident that I am allowed to do so. I didn't realize how closely I was relating my worth to what I do for a living. I think I have been in a minor depression for some time, and just didn't realize it.
Please pray for me, that I would realize that what God has planned for me is infinitely greater than what I am doing here & now. Also, pray that I will find some assurance that what I am doing now has purpose in the Lord's providence, and that I don't feel like I am wasting my time.
Thanks!
Please pray for me, that I would realize that what God has planned for me is infinitely greater than what I am doing here & now. Also, pray that I will find some assurance that what I am doing now has purpose in the Lord's providence, and that I don't feel like I am wasting my time.
Thanks!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
News
I don't have anything to say, but one of my friends mentioned it was time to post something, so how about a news flash?
My job is changing, ever-so-slightly...On Memorial Day I am being placed at a different store. I will still be in Temple, but I'm taking over as manager at the store on I-35. Bigger staff, bigger facility, a lot of unknowns. I'll miss my store I've been running for 4 years, but knowing I'm only a few miles away, and that a great manager is taking over at my old place makes it a touch easier.
One friend asked if I wanted to change stores. My most honest answer is yes, only because it is clear that is what God has for me right now.
Have a great day!
My job is changing, ever-so-slightly...On Memorial Day I am being placed at a different store. I will still be in Temple, but I'm taking over as manager at the store on I-35. Bigger staff, bigger facility, a lot of unknowns. I'll miss my store I've been running for 4 years, but knowing I'm only a few miles away, and that a great manager is taking over at my old place makes it a touch easier.
One friend asked if I wanted to change stores. My most honest answer is yes, only because it is clear that is what God has for me right now.
Have a great day!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Praise the Lord! He is good!
Debby and Lori came home today, about two weeks earlier than expected. It is as if a physical stress has been removed, just to have them within 20 minutes of my home.
When I got to their house tonight, it was almost as if nothing had changed. My bro-in-law was grilling meat, the other kids were helping clean up for dinner, and Lori was in the family room, exercising. Debby was answering all sorts of questions, able somehow to juggle the needs of a family of 7 (8 if you count me, and I do :)
Dinner was full of conversation, everyone comparing their day, complaining about homework and research papers, arguing over who had which cup. The biggest difference was in all the smiles. Even in the dreading of homework, we smiled. When I asked if I could take a Meyer family picture, no one grumbled, and everyone said yes.
Lori seemed amazed by what she forgot she had missed. The last of the bluebonnets are in the field, the first aromatic roses are ready to cut, and life seems sweet and good. Several times I watched Lori as she picked up a vase with flowers in it, simply to smell how sweet life is at home.
I am so thankful for the Lord's provision during this time. I imagine he knew, before Lori got sick, how often we took each other for granted. This season of fear certainly made us love and honor each other immeasurably more. Praise God, for He certainly doesn't give us more than He will help us handle. All is for our good and God's glory; the fear, the unknown, the healing, and the celebration...our good, God's glory....Amen.
When I got to their house tonight, it was almost as if nothing had changed. My bro-in-law was grilling meat, the other kids were helping clean up for dinner, and Lori was in the family room, exercising. Debby was answering all sorts of questions, able somehow to juggle the needs of a family of 7 (8 if you count me, and I do :)
Dinner was full of conversation, everyone comparing their day, complaining about homework and research papers, arguing over who had which cup. The biggest difference was in all the smiles. Even in the dreading of homework, we smiled. When I asked if I could take a Meyer family picture, no one grumbled, and everyone said yes.
Lori seemed amazed by what she forgot she had missed. The last of the bluebonnets are in the field, the first aromatic roses are ready to cut, and life seems sweet and good. Several times I watched Lori as she picked up a vase with flowers in it, simply to smell how sweet life is at home.
I am so thankful for the Lord's provision during this time. I imagine he knew, before Lori got sick, how often we took each other for granted. This season of fear certainly made us love and honor each other immeasurably more. Praise God, for He certainly doesn't give us more than He will help us handle. All is for our good and God's glory; the fear, the unknown, the healing, and the celebration...our good, God's glory....Amen.
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