Thursday, September 25, 2008

Just in case you forgot...

evolution is a theory, not a fact.

Heard a news show tonight that was trying to help us forget.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

7 Years Later

Seven years ago today, things seemed dark. Many say things were dark. I will admit, it wasn't a happy day for me. The days that followed were hard physically and emotionally, and I was spiritually empty, as I had been for years.

Each September since then, I get a little melancholy, fearful. What will this year bring? Will I be able to watch the news without crying? read the headlines? talk to friends? It takes me until about September 9th to admit that I worry about the 11th, even just worry about remembering.

This year has felt a little different. Instead of expecting the world to stand still and remember what happened 7 years ago, I hope in the world moving on--myself included. Not that I don't want to honor and remember, I just don't want to stagnate in the past. Life is full of blessings, even through darkness.

This morning I talked to my mom. She read me a letter from a neighbor, Elaine, who she had never met. Elaine talked about seeing my parents build and move into their home, about watching as family came to visit, noticing the joy we have in one another. My parents live in a town with about 500 people, and this woman lives across the lake, a very natural place to observe the comings & goings of my family, especially in the summertime when we descend on my parents' house to play. Elaine talked about September 11, 2001, about how she felt like she needed to go to church. She happened to pick my parents' church, heard about my brother, and felt deep sadness for a family she'd never even met. The letter she sent was such a blessing to my mom. As Mom read it to me, I cried. I am so thankful for her blessing to my folks. She took the time, after seven years, to let my folks know she had been praying for our family, even though she didn't know us. She commented on the things my mom loves to do in the summertime, having grandkids visit and water-ski, and how seeing all of us in action is such joy to her.

Elaine is a blessing to us, even when it would be so easy to get caught up in the darkness. It reminds me of why there is such hope, such peace, even now, seven years later.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Sin and my relationship to God

I have a lot of changes coming my way soon, and those changes have affected my sleep. I can't get to sleep at night, and then when morning comes I dread getting out of bed. It is not good. A friend suggested that when I can't sleep that I write a letter of what is on my mind.

As I tried to get to sleep the other night, I was filled with thoughts of what I want for my future. Once I started there, I couldn't sleep, so I got up and started writing. The words on the page were terrifying to me (especially when I read them later) because they spoke forcefully of my sin of self-centeredness and not trusting the Lord to provide the desires of my heart.

When I told my friend about this letter, I asked him what his greatest sin is, and he replied that it is fear. That is similar to mine, I thought, because it's all about what we're focusing on that is NOT Christ. I tried coming up with words to bring out the similarities, but could not do it.

Yesterday in church, Jeff said something about fear that was very relevant. Fear is an alternate faith, and by giving our lives over to fear, we put more merit on it than we do in the Lord. I think you could substitute any sin for fear there, but I thought it was so well put I had to share it.

I am so thankful that God sent his Son to atone for all of our sins, because I am sure there is no way I could ever escape these kinds of things on my own.