Monday, September 8, 2008

Sin and my relationship to God

I have a lot of changes coming my way soon, and those changes have affected my sleep. I can't get to sleep at night, and then when morning comes I dread getting out of bed. It is not good. A friend suggested that when I can't sleep that I write a letter of what is on my mind.

As I tried to get to sleep the other night, I was filled with thoughts of what I want for my future. Once I started there, I couldn't sleep, so I got up and started writing. The words on the page were terrifying to me (especially when I read them later) because they spoke forcefully of my sin of self-centeredness and not trusting the Lord to provide the desires of my heart.

When I told my friend about this letter, I asked him what his greatest sin is, and he replied that it is fear. That is similar to mine, I thought, because it's all about what we're focusing on that is NOT Christ. I tried coming up with words to bring out the similarities, but could not do it.

Yesterday in church, Jeff said something about fear that was very relevant. Fear is an alternate faith, and by giving our lives over to fear, we put more merit on it than we do in the Lord. I think you could substitute any sin for fear there, but I thought it was so well put I had to share it.

I am so thankful that God sent his Son to atone for all of our sins, because I am sure there is no way I could ever escape these kinds of things on my own.

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