Training

Did I mention in my last post that I am taking training classes through Child Protective Services in order to get licensed to foster and adopt? I haven't been in classes in a L-O-N-G time, and evening classes, in particular, are tough for me. This isn't new. I dreaded night classes when I was in college, way back in the day, but adding evening classes to a full work day is a new level of tired. I guess it's good real life training for me....nothing like total exhaustion when there's a new kiddo in the house, or so I've heard. You parents will have to verify that for me :)

Most of the classes have been unsurprising. People struggle. The world is devastated by sin, and that sin takes effect in a multitude of ways, and many, many suffer without hope. I am not new to hearing/seeing/living how sin affects our lives--in very real and painful ways. Throughout the training classes, I have been able to cope fairly well, not shocked by the sins adults perpetrate on kids, and I have been able to pray for both the adults and the kids involved in foster care. God has given me grace to see that He alone is sufficient to heal all wounds.

Tonight was different. Tonight we talked about sexual abuse. Somehow, this has undone me and my calm facade. I am deeply angry at adults who think it is in any way acceptable to ruin a child's life in this way. I am heartbroken for the kids (some in adult bodies) whose lives need so much healing, and whose lives scream for the Lord and His presence.

That's it. I'm broken. And to think I thought the tough part of being a parent to these hurt kids would be the financial part. Please, Lord help us all. Amen.

Well.

I helped run a garage sale this past weekend at my church in Waco. All the funds we raised go straight to my friend, Heather, who is adopting her son Eli from Ethiopia. There were so many amazing folks over the course of two days who donated, organized, brought snacks, and purchased/donated to help bring Eli home. It was incredible!

The second day of the garage sale was 9/11, a typically very sad day for me. It was such a blessing to be working, feeling like I was making a positive difference instead of dwelling on loss. At the end of the day, though, my mom called to check in with me. It was bittersweet to hear her voice, hearing her concern for me mingled with the grief of having lost a son. It is a grief I cannot imagine, but I think I will be able to soon enough.

I am in the middle of training to become licensed as a foster/adoptive parent. It is a daunting process, and the state of Texas really wants to know everything about me. I never knew how much there was to know about myself, to tell you the truth. I have been praying, asking God to prepare me, my heart, and my home. I have a great support system, just waiting for me to ask for what I need. I promise, I will have needs as I move forward in this, and I'll try to share them as much as I am able.

Heather sold T-shirts at the garage sale over the weekend. Written on them, in English and Amharic, is the phrase, "Love Without Borders." I know this is how God loves me, and I pray it is the way I will love the kids who come home to me. God is awesome, and even if a sliver of that kind of love goes to a needy child in my care, all of this striving will have been worth it.