So, this week was pretty cruddy. I feel like the bad news just kept rolling in. There is so much tragedy and hurt in this world and I feel like sometimes it can overwhelm me. By Thursday, I felt like I just wanted to stay in bed instead of facing the day. Alas, that was not meant to be. I managed to make it through the day on Thursday, but I knew I needed an attitude adjustment to get through Friday.
As I got ready for the day on Friday, I tried to think in terms of "this could be worse." I realized that a year ago I felt like crap, doing a dose of chemotherapy in Houston. I could NOT have a job. I could NOT be able to pay my bills. I could STILL be doing chemo. Praise God that none of those things are happening.
While driving to work, I had a little conversation with God. Thanks for the sun (it's a hundred degrees), thanks for the green grass (man, it's work to mow that). So, I started over. God, thanks for your Son who is my satisfaction. Thank you for giving me a reprieve from pursuing my own perfection, thank You that He is my perfection. Lord, let me be a mirror--even if I'm a warped, beat-up, sliver of a mirror--let me be a mirror of your glory to others. Thank you for your provision, your grace, and for loving me when I am unlovable, which feels like most of the time lately.
It's amazing, that grace. It took my crabby attitude, my weak & mealy heart, and turned me to face the day as a reflection of a good, kind, loving God. I managed to express my appreciation to one of my teachers today. I got to share dinner with friends, followed by ice cream in the park. I laughed much. I was surprised by friends in town from New York. I cried tears of grief for suffering friends and I cried tears of pure joy. I know a Father who knows me, who understands my suffering, who knows the darkness of my heart, and who loves me endlessly and with joyful abandon. Hallelujah!
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3 comments:
I keep reminding myself that too. God is always good and He has given so much so that I can be so blessed, even when I feel like my world is crumbling around me. I'm so glad you can see the good when those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weeks happen.
Amylady....your words always move me. I look forward to a day when we meet again.
Liz
PS...remember how you used to say "Boboli" and exaggerate an Italian accent?... the word they want me to use to verify to enter this comment is "pipoli"....reminded me of you!! ha ha
Sorry you had a rough week. It was pure luck to run into you on our way to HEB. I am glad you have so many blessings, and there will be more in future.
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