Friday, February 11, 2011

Adjusting

I've been a mom for nearly two months, and a mom to two for 6 weeks. I think MY adjustment time is about over. I'm now used to not sleeping through the night, to sharing my time and my space almost all the time, to making chicken nuggets about once a week for dinner, and all sorts of other adjustments. The girls are still adjusting...how to have a sister, how to share space, how to live with someone who's not your mom...you know, the usual stuff.

I am learning that I am not as "full of grace" as I see my mom or other moms being. I don't have infinite patience. Sometimes, my girls annoy me, and it hurts me to admit that. I often think I spend too much time with one girl, then feel guilty and overcompensate.

Today the big one is home sick, and because I rarely remember being sick as a kid, I am not so good at nurturing. I am good at nurturing spirits and friendships and plants, but sick kids, not so much. She is whiny, needy, and a little defiant. She doesn't listen to reason when I tell her what she needs is sleep and fluids. She thinks she needs unlimited attention and movies; thinks moaning and yelling her complaints will help her feel better, apparently. As I said, I lack grace in this situation.

I lack grace, period. That's my struggle. I know how my much girls need, and how much they need from me, and I am distinctly aware of how much I NEED Jesus. I need Jesus in my everyday life, I need Jesus in my interactions with my girls, I need Jesus in my impatience and overwhelmed-ness.

Pray for all of us! Be near, Lord Jesus!
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1 comment:

Suzanne said...

we all adjust, everyday. Most of us ask for patience, everyday. We all want to look like we have it together, even though somedays it's a thin front that we hope no one can see through.

You are doing great, and even better because you are open and willing to put this info out there. Just remember, you can redraw the lines, you can make up new rules, you can admit fault and change things up. They will learn by example, by your mistakes and by your successes. More importantly they will be okay, because you keep waking up and starting a new day with them. And like I have told you before in admiration, your job as mom is much harder, because you dove in with both feet, all at once. But you are handling it and more than not, thriving in it, and even better, you are relying on friends, family and prayer to do this mom thing... you are doing GREAT! Pat yourself on the back, prop your feet up with a good cup of coffee and breathe, even if it's just for 5 minutes, cuz that's all moms get sometimes.

February 11, 2011 at 11:40 AM

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