I recognized just this weekend that I am living my life in black & white instead of in color. I work, I come home, I cook, I eat, I sprinkle in a few activites, and sometimes I work some more. It's a sad, defeating, lonely life. I have no idea how to get out of this lonely, black & white life. I have gotten so complacent being THIS person that I don't even know what to do next.
There are things I know I want. I want great love...tears and laughter, joy and pain. I think I'd like to be a mom. I want to FEEL things instead of continuing to live this average, risk-free life. I'd like to end my days knowing I'd lived a life, not just survived an existence.
Staying the same depresses me. Changing terrifies me. Being alone is not my worst fear-or fate. Knowing that my life isn't everything it could be makes me want to be different. I'm just not sure where to start.
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1 comment:
this is very interesting to me...your self awareness and vulnerability is stunning. i want to hear where you will start first. pray through it before just "deciding" what to "do".
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