Almost normal

I'm sitting here, typing away, messing with facebook, having some coffee, and life feels almost normal.

Then I remember I was in an oncologist's office this morning, and the coffee is decaf. Something is amiss. And my mom has unloaded my car after more than two weeks at my sister's house, and I couldn't even argue with her to let me help her. Very unusual.

I nearly cried today, after seeing the oncologist. I was on a "tour" with the oncology nurse. She was showing me where we'd park when it was time for me to come back for chemo, showing me the infusion suites, the waiting area. On our way out of the waiting room, we passed a display case of scarves, wigs, and yellow "Live Strong" bracelets. None of that bothered me. What got to me was the nurse explaining that instead of wearing a pink ribbon (breast cancer), "we are teal." It hit me, in that moment, that I really do have cancer, and there's even a color people would think of when it came to the type of cancer I have. For whatever reason, I just came undone. I couldn't even stop & listen to what else she was saying, I had to keep walking.

I'm sure there are many times that knowing I have cancer will make me feel like coming undone, I just wasn't ready for today to be one of those days.

On the flip side, there is a woman who lives in the town I work in who makes free wigs for cancer patients. Any suggestions for what color I should get? I am told it is VERY likely I will lose my hair.